a reminder.

jen lemen writes this week:

sometimes i can get at it with words. sometimes the words help tame the wickedness of memory gone mad, running rampant through my body, making me nauseous, making me wild with beating heart, racing thoughts. sometimes the body can tell secrets my troubled soul cannot access, tales of calm and quiet, deep breath in, deep breath out.
to divide body and mind is to split the soul. to deny the memory of the body is to forget perhaps what is most true, for the body feeds the mind and the mind feeds the body and soon to even speak of them as separate feels silly. we are all one flesh. where else does the spirit move and have breath?

and it reminds me why it is that everyone liked my team emails... why i can write in my journal the things i could never figure out how to say... and why it is that even now i feel like my body betrays me, but in actuality all the panic and anxiety and anorexia and everything else is just reaching down into the secrets that my conscious self cannot yet reach.

mercy, lord.