look up, not down.

so, i preached. and i did okay. :) honestly, i felt good about it. i was SO long, 45 minutes both times. and for the first time i rocked the casbah note-free. and it was better. for real. lots of my friends came to be my moral support, and that was very nice. mike gave me good counsel and it was SO much tighter the second time. and i decided that i liked it. it was a funny thing, to come back home and preach among these people whom i loved so much and knew so well and who had seen me grow so much... but they loved me and really blessed me. and i ended up with two words from the lord, one about rest and one about planting, and a little money, and so that was an unexpected blessing. i should have watched my mouth a little more... i said some things in the second service with my aunt there which in hindsight i probably should have held my tongue from. but what is done is done, and i will trust the lord. ergh.

am starting to feel new conviction about the way i talk about situations and what is uplifting and what is not. particularly about trey and some of my conversations with him, and about laurie and her decision to marry this guy and what i think about it. because the reality remains that i want to honor god in the way i talk about it and not just be content to have my own opinion, but to trust him and speak in a way that encourages others to.

and it is not that easy.

rachel said to me that the time has come that we not be weapons used against each other. okay. i don't disagree with that in concept... but what does that mean really? i am uncomfortable.