your love is better than my life.

i like how blogger makes me always think of frogger.

listening to jimmy seibert this morning while i do laundry and clean the house. and am just reminded again and again that the world is not unreached for a lack of strategy. the task isn't finished not because we couldn't figure out how to do it or even because there were just not enough willing. what we lack is brokenness, and submission. we lack people who are in love with god and who are completely given over to his purposes and plans and will stay in that place until they understand them. it's like whoever taught on how you can't be in the missionary task for the task, that there are so many who got in it out of the valiant spirit that wants to see the tak completed. it won't happen that way. we need missionaries who know what it is to know god and make him known, who fell in love with the glory of god and as a result are compelled to go out to the nations. i have to love god and know god and so i go. loving anything else will fail me.

damn it. i just turned my favorite white bedspread pale green. what kind of a dope am i? putting it in the wash with a green blanket... which i thought would be colorsafe, but still. i have to go and buy some clorox.

not sure how this fasting thing is going to go but i do feel compelled about it. not to be in control - for real, i know how that feels - but out of loving response. i got this prophetic word that was a real gift to me about there being a banquet of food before you that you are free to eat from, food you have not ever known about, and today i fast for that, for asking god to feed me on the food that i know not of. and as for prophetic words, i am still asking god to speak to me about the one about marriage. it is a dangerous thing to speak about. but i desperately want to be mature enough to receive it with wisdom.

i declined to have lunch with trey. it was a little hard but not that hard. it's just too dangerous for me. and i have no need to let him play with me.